Where do I start?
See, I thought I'd had just about all of the crap that I could possibly get from 'friends' earlier this year. Bad enough when your 'best friend' cares more about her lunch than about your feelings, you know? You figured that incident had to be the low point of the year; after all, when a sandwich comes above a person, that's pretty damn sad.
But no. Then all of the people that you thought of as your close friends start spending less and less time with you and more and more time with sandwich-girl. Great. Goody fucking gumdrops for them. It's ok though, because all they really have is one another; you have the ability to make new friends. Let them stay together, doing the same boring things with the same boring people and having the same boring conversations that they always do, trapped in the same boring life that they will always be trapped within; at least you know that you're going to be doing something with your life.
So now you have new friends, and you're starting to really enjoy yourself. It still hurts your feelings that a piece of bread and some meat are considered more important than you, but you know what? It happens. Now where was I? Oh yes, your new friends. You're really getting along with them, and you really like them. You've found a new best friend, one who, oh, I dunno, considers you to be worth more than a meal, and life is just peachy keen.
Then something, ummm, 'lustfully exciting' would be the best term for it, happens. It's exciting because it's something that you've never done before, and you desperately want to tell people. Now, the person that it happens with happens to be someone that you don't particularly want people to know about because, although he'd been kissing a bunch of other people that night and claiming that he wasn't really with a friend of yours anymore, you knew that he'd had something with your friend before. You don't feel guilty, because he himself told you that they were no longer together (I mean, hello, you asked), but it would simply be more prudent to keep it all discreet. This is why you decide only to tell two people: this new best friend of yours, along with an older friend that you aren't really that close with anymore, but you wish you were because you used to be really close, and you miss talking to her, and all that jazz. But even though you aren't as close anymore, you'd still trust this girl completely because she's totally trustworthy, right?
Wrong! Actually, this UNTRUSTWORTHY, LYING, WORTH LESS THAN A PIECE OF SHIT, FUCKING LITTLE BITCH who used to be your friend decides, after hearing your confidence and promising to keep it a secret, to tell the best friend of the 'former girlfriend' (or so you thought) in question. Why? NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS!!!!! Is it because she is just the world's BIGGEST IDIOT EVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Quite possibly. You certainly cannot see any other explanation. Too bad you wasted all that money buying her balloons and a gift and all the other shit you got her for her birthday.
So now the best friend decides that this is all her business, which, by the way, it most assuredly is not, and has taken it upon herself to inform everyone else that the 'former girlfriend' is close to of the story. Brilliant move there. See, it turns out that the boy lied to you, and that he was, in fact, still dating the girl in question. Thank goodness you didn't have sex with him, like he was begging you to do. Well, now that other people know, you think, hey, what the hell, you may as well get to tell some people yourself, because apparently everyone else is going to find out anyway because of the ASININE PIECE OF SCUM who decided to tell the best friend in the first place.
Then, the best friend and another close friend decide to confront the boy with this second-hand knowledge, not seeming to realize that IT IS NOT THEIR INFORMATION TO USE!!!!!!!!!!! Luckily, you find out quickly enough to intercept them, and they agree to let you talk to him instead of them. Now, you cannot really see why all of this should be dragged out into the open because it's not like it meant anything to either you or the boyfriend, and it would just end up hurting the girlfriend, but her two 'best friends' are actually so jealous of the time that their friend spends with her boyfriend, whom they don't really like, that they don't really care if their friend gets hurt in the process; they are determined to bring up a situation that was, quite frankly, best left forgotten. But, in any case, at least you'll get to explain to him that you just have really DUMB, UNTRUSTWORTHY excuses for friends who spread your secrets instead of keeping them, and that you're really sorry that you ever told her about it.
However, the UTTERLY BRILLIANT (*sarcasm*) other close friend of the girlfriend, who, while constantly bitching about how the boyfriend hits on her, TOTALLY flirts up her ass with him whenever he's around, has gone drinking with the boyfriend, and decides to start yelling at him about you, and him, and how she is going to tell the girlfriend the whole story unless he does it himself (you were not there, so you're a bit shaky on those details, but you believe that that is the gist of what happened there).
So naturally, he goes to his girlfriend, and decides to make himself look better by calling YOU a liar. A pretty smart move on his part, as he knows that his girlfriend is so overly infatuated with him that she will believe whatever bullshit comes out of his mouth. He said that you lied about how far the two of you went, that you'd only made out (which was most assuredly NOT all that happened), and that you blew what happened out of proportion. Uh, yeah, that wasn't exactly what you blew.
So that is how you ended up with an irate girlfriend on the phone, calling you a liar and a whore.
Now, if one stops to think about it, one would wonder why on Earth I would lie about having done MORE than what I did. Isn't it a TAD more likely that he's lying and saying that we didn't really go as far as we did to save his own skin, as opposed to me lying and insisting that we went further than you actually did? It would make my life so much simpler if all we'd done was make-out, but it wasn't. I'm being honest with you, I swear. We went further than that. When have I ever lied about how far I've gone? I've never needed to. He's lying to you. He wouldn't do that, you say? Um, he lied to me about not seeing you anymore. Oh, but he wouldn't lie to you? Well, did he ever tell you about the first time that we'd hooked up? No? How utterly shocking. A fine, lying specimen you picked to date there, honey. I can't believe that I went on a date with him myself.
Moral of the story: I guess the only person you can ever count on completely is your Self.